Came across this book as I was wandering through an office supply store.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Self Portrait Sunday #1
Sorry, no pithy title for this post. :)
Some members of an online community I belong to started doing self portraits once a week.
I started and then stopped and am starting again. No time like getting one's hair done to spur that one, right? So I went into the yard and, with phone in hand, took a few pictures. This is the best of the bunch and I actually like it! (Don't like many pictures of me.)
And DH likes the picture so much that he suggested I use it as a professional portrait, so it will be going up on my professional sites.
Some members of an online community I belong to started doing self portraits once a week.
I started and then stopped and am starting again. No time like getting one's hair done to spur that one, right? So I went into the yard and, with phone in hand, took a few pictures. This is the best of the bunch and I actually like it! (Don't like many pictures of me.)
And DH likes the picture so much that he suggested I use it as a professional portrait, so it will be going up on my professional sites.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
A Peaceful Spot
Today's picture is a seat in the garden at Alana's restaurant in Redwood City. I've been coming here 16+ years and just found this. Was waiting to have brunch with good friends and thought this looked so peaceful.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Let Sleeping Puppies Lay? Lie?
The dogs were being cute, lying next to each other this morning.
I took a spill this morning (I'm fine) and didn't spend much time outside, so you get dogs. :)
I took a spill this morning (I'm fine) and didn't spend much time outside, so you get dogs. :)
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
"The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent Was a Summer in San Francisco"
SF Giants pitcher Matt Cain warming up before the start of today's game vs. the New York Mets. Unfortunately, for the first time in his career, he didn't make it out of the first inning, throwing 36 pitches in 2/3 of an inning.
Also sharing a shot of AT&T Park on what someone-not-named-Mark Twain would definitely not recognize as a summer day in San Francisco. :)
Also sharing a shot of AT&T Park on what someone-not-named-Mark Twain would definitely not recognize as a summer day in San Francisco. :)
Monday, July 08, 2013
Bienvenido a La Santaneca de la Mission
We had lunch at La Santaneca de la Mission on Mission at 24th Street in SF.
I kept staring at the decorations in the corner and decided I needed a picture.
Incidentally, the food is delicious, I highly recommend this place. Do note that it is cash only.
I kept staring at the decorations in the corner and decided I needed a picture.
Incidentally, the food is delicious, I highly recommend this place. Do note that it is cash only.
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Roses Are (not always) Red...
Was in Trader Joe's and found these beautiful lavender roses calling to me.
Saturday, July 06, 2013
Good Morning and Welcome to This Year in Pictures
Am going to try to resurrect This Year in Pictures from a year and a half ago.
Here are Pip and Mona saying Good morning.
Here are Pip and Mona saying Good morning.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Hey! Where do I fit into this LGBT thing?
I'm writing this post because I read something earlier that has been bugging me all day.
In a discussion about all that has transpired this week for marriage equality, someone wrote that straight people are clueless and can't appreciate the range of emotions that their LGBT friends have gone through. As both a Jew and a woman, I can sit here and write about how I've been discriminated against as a member of both classes, but I won't. I still have plenty to say, however.
I grew up in San Francisco, four blocks from the corner of Haight & Ashbury. We moved to the Haight in the mid-70s, when I was 10. I would regularly see what I call 'leftover hippies' all over Haight Street. They were, for the most part, harmless. (I could write a whole post about being propositioned and accosted by these guys and how they went from mostly harmless when I was 10 to a bit scarier when I was 17, but I digress.)
Our neighbors were from all walks of life. It was definitely a diverse neighborhood.
I remember mentioning to my mom that I thought one of the neighbors was cute. She told me that she thought his roommate was not really his roommate, but his boyfriend. She could have been describing a man and woman, not two men, the comment was said without judgment. My reaction was one of great disappointment that he was in a relationship. It didn't matter who the relationship was with.
I remember the assassinations of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk. I remember the White Night Riots.
I remember friends and neighbors getting sick and dying from AIDS.
When I would hang with gay friends in college, I was called a 'fag hag.' (Complimentary or not, depending on who said it.)
When San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed same-sex couples to get married in 2004, the media talked mostly about 'gay marriage.' I hated that term then and still hate it now. I almost always referred to 'marriage equality' then, before the phrase became a hashtag.
I know my memories are not exclusive to me. Many of my friends have similar memories.
My point is that to me, members of the LGBT community are not labels, they're friends, humans.
And I'm very happy that these fellow human beings are able to get married in some states. What I don't understand is why they are not allowed to get married in all states. I don't understand the objection and probably never will.
But back to the original comment that set me off this morning. You have a unique perspective when you've experienced something firsthand. But that isn't to say that someone cannot be an ally if they don't have that perspective.
(Men will never experience abortion. I get so aggravated at the men that legislate against a woman's right to choose that I forget that there are plenty of men who support that right. I hope I would never make such a general statement that men are generally clueless when it comes to this issue.)
When the Prop H8 decision was handed down, I tweeted "So incredibly happy to see equality prevail!"
Congratulations to the couples who are now allowed to get married. I hope there is more of this within my lifetime.
In a discussion about all that has transpired this week for marriage equality, someone wrote that straight people are clueless and can't appreciate the range of emotions that their LGBT friends have gone through. As both a Jew and a woman, I can sit here and write about how I've been discriminated against as a member of both classes, but I won't. I still have plenty to say, however.
I grew up in San Francisco, four blocks from the corner of Haight & Ashbury. We moved to the Haight in the mid-70s, when I was 10. I would regularly see what I call 'leftover hippies' all over Haight Street. They were, for the most part, harmless. (I could write a whole post about being propositioned and accosted by these guys and how they went from mostly harmless when I was 10 to a bit scarier when I was 17, but I digress.)
Our neighbors were from all walks of life. It was definitely a diverse neighborhood.
I remember mentioning to my mom that I thought one of the neighbors was cute. She told me that she thought his roommate was not really his roommate, but his boyfriend. She could have been describing a man and woman, not two men, the comment was said without judgment. My reaction was one of great disappointment that he was in a relationship. It didn't matter who the relationship was with.
I remember the assassinations of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk. I remember the White Night Riots.
I remember friends and neighbors getting sick and dying from AIDS.
When I would hang with gay friends in college, I was called a 'fag hag.' (Complimentary or not, depending on who said it.)
When San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed same-sex couples to get married in 2004, the media talked mostly about 'gay marriage.' I hated that term then and still hate it now. I almost always referred to 'marriage equality' then, before the phrase became a hashtag.
I know my memories are not exclusive to me. Many of my friends have similar memories.
My point is that to me, members of the LGBT community are not labels, they're friends, humans.
And I'm very happy that these fellow human beings are able to get married in some states. What I don't understand is why they are not allowed to get married in all states. I don't understand the objection and probably never will.
But back to the original comment that set me off this morning. You have a unique perspective when you've experienced something firsthand. But that isn't to say that someone cannot be an ally if they don't have that perspective.
(Men will never experience abortion. I get so aggravated at the men that legislate against a woman's right to choose that I forget that there are plenty of men who support that right. I hope I would never make such a general statement that men are generally clueless when it comes to this issue.)
When the Prop H8 decision was handed down, I tweeted "So incredibly happy to see equality prevail!"
Congratulations to the couples who are now allowed to get married. I hope there is more of this within my lifetime.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Your right to bear arms stops at my right to life!
This post has been rolling around in my head for most of the last week. I've been listening to the calls for gun control laws. I've been listening to the anti-gun control crowd blame people with mental illnesses and point out that crime will continue, with or without gun control. I just don't understand the opposition to an assault weapons ban.
Sure, people will continue to get guns and use them. Heck, people still drive under the influence and maim and kill people while doing it. However, the number of DUI-related incidents has decreased with increased laws and awareness.
SCOTUS has upheld that the 2nd Amendment protects an individual right to bear arms. Keep your handguns and your hunting rifles if you must, but tell me what the HELL you need an assault rifle for? According to Wikipedia, an assault rifle is "standard service in most modern armies." These weapons are made for the express purpose of killing people. Continuing from Wikipedia, "the term 'assault rifle' is a translation of the German word Sturmgewehr, literally 'storm rifle', as in 'to storm a position'." What, in the name of all that is good, does the average person need such a weapon for? Hell, there are common-sense exceptions to the 1st Amendment. You can't yell "FIRE" in a crowded theater! How about some common sense with a weapon that is made to kill people?!?!
The NRA's statement, not surprisingly, was disappointing. Armed guards in schools? That's been tried and hasn't worked. Instead of blaming everyone else, I would like to hear the NRA, for once, admit that guns are part of the problem. I'm not saying guns are the sole problem, but it seems that the anti-gun control crowd doesn't take ANY responsibility when tragedies happen.
To the people who said that movie goers with guns might have helped in the Aurora shooting, you've got to be kidding! It seems that in a dark movie theater, with multiple people shooting, there's a chance for more casualties from "friendly fire".
If you think I'm just another liberal who doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about, you're right, that I'm a liberal, but I have some perspective.
I have been on the business end of a gun and of a knife (twice). In one of the knifing incidents, there was nowhere to run. It was by sheer force of will that nothing happened. That incident is proof that anything can happen at any time.
However, work with me to compare and contrast the second knife incident with the gun incident. The person with the gun was farther away from me than the person with the knife. In that case I was in an open space and had room to move away from the dude with the knife. While all three incidents scared the crap out of me, the gun was scarier than the second knife incident. I could possibly outrun the person with the knife, or at least make an effort to get away. However, I can't outrun a bullet!
So, yes, gun control will not stop crime. But can we put something in place that makes it more difficult to get these killing weapons? Not that I was ever in favor of guns, but, honestly, when you're on the business end you definitely get perspective!
Sure, people will continue to get guns and use them. Heck, people still drive under the influence and maim and kill people while doing it. However, the number of DUI-related incidents has decreased with increased laws and awareness.
SCOTUS has upheld that the 2nd Amendment protects an individual right to bear arms. Keep your handguns and your hunting rifles if you must, but tell me what the HELL you need an assault rifle for? According to Wikipedia, an assault rifle is "standard service in most modern armies." These weapons are made for the express purpose of killing people. Continuing from Wikipedia, "the term 'assault rifle' is a translation of the German word Sturmgewehr, literally 'storm rifle', as in 'to storm a position'." What, in the name of all that is good, does the average person need such a weapon for? Hell, there are common-sense exceptions to the 1st Amendment. You can't yell "FIRE" in a crowded theater! How about some common sense with a weapon that is made to kill people?!?!
The NRA's statement, not surprisingly, was disappointing. Armed guards in schools? That's been tried and hasn't worked. Instead of blaming everyone else, I would like to hear the NRA, for once, admit that guns are part of the problem. I'm not saying guns are the sole problem, but it seems that the anti-gun control crowd doesn't take ANY responsibility when tragedies happen.
To the people who said that movie goers with guns might have helped in the Aurora shooting, you've got to be kidding! It seems that in a dark movie theater, with multiple people shooting, there's a chance for more casualties from "friendly fire".
If you think I'm just another liberal who doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about, you're right, that I'm a liberal, but I have some perspective.
I have been on the business end of a gun and of a knife (twice). In one of the knifing incidents, there was nowhere to run. It was by sheer force of will that nothing happened. That incident is proof that anything can happen at any time.
However, work with me to compare and contrast the second knife incident with the gun incident. The person with the gun was farther away from me than the person with the knife. In that case I was in an open space and had room to move away from the dude with the knife. While all three incidents scared the crap out of me, the gun was scarier than the second knife incident. I could possibly outrun the person with the knife, or at least make an effort to get away. However, I can't outrun a bullet!
So, yes, gun control will not stop crime. But can we put something in place that makes it more difficult to get these killing weapons? Not that I was ever in favor of guns, but, honestly, when you're on the business end you definitely get perspective!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
It Was 20 Years Ago Today...
It was 1992. The unemployment rate in California was between 9 and
10%. President George H.W. Bush was in California raising money for his
re-election campaign.
And 20 years ago today a small software company based in Menlo Park held a job fair for 100 openings, mostly in tech support.
Let's clear the air right now. I left work early that day because I was sick. I headed to the urgent care clinic and was diagnosed with bronchitis. I went home and went to bed. I may even still have the doctor's note from that visit. I debated whether I was going to head to that job fair. I finally decided to go.
If I had stayed at work, I would have left at 3 since I started at 6 am. I would have arrived at the job fair on my own time.
Several hundred people showed up for the job fair. I was the second person in line. According to the article in the SF Examiner, the guy in front of me showed up at 4 pm. I was probably not much later. The Examiner reporter interviewed me, I asked him not to use my name, but he did. Here's my quote, "I've been doing technical support work, but this looks like a better company. I've got a job, but I think there's a better future with this place." I really wasn't that far off. The company I was working for had been in receivership for much of my tenure there. During that time we weren't sure if we were going to get paid. I liked my immediate co-workers, but the owner of the company... (My mother taught me that if I can't say something nice, to not say it at all.)
I had a friend at the software company who kept telling me for two years that I should check it out. I stuck it out until this job fair and decided to see what was out there. I don't remember specifics about the interview, but remember being freaked out by the panel interview. I must have done okay because I got through the process and am still employed there 20 years later.
The next morning at work a co-worker got a phone call, which I wouldn't have paid attention to, but she was rather emphatic and left the office. I had a hunch and followed her. Sure enough she went to buy the newspaper. I didn't know about the paper until that point.
After I gave notice, the aforementioned owner of the company tried to knock me down by telling me I won't make my mark with the new company: I'd be just a number, not a person; I would be a small fish in a big pond, etc. I had a response to every one of his statements. This was a man who didn't like people standing up to him, so his parting shot was about my making up a story to leave early to get to the job fair, and he left the office.
I am grateful for my job with that first company. It was my first job out of college. I learned a lot. I don't regret taking this opportunity with the new company. I have made my mark, I have learned a lot, and my life has been changed in many ways.
I want to thank the people at both companies who gave me a shot.
And 20 years ago today a small software company based in Menlo Park held a job fair for 100 openings, mostly in tech support.
Let's clear the air right now. I left work early that day because I was sick. I headed to the urgent care clinic and was diagnosed with bronchitis. I went home and went to bed. I may even still have the doctor's note from that visit. I debated whether I was going to head to that job fair. I finally decided to go.
If I had stayed at work, I would have left at 3 since I started at 6 am. I would have arrived at the job fair on my own time.
Several hundred people showed up for the job fair. I was the second person in line. According to the article in the SF Examiner, the guy in front of me showed up at 4 pm. I was probably not much later. The Examiner reporter interviewed me, I asked him not to use my name, but he did. Here's my quote, "I've been doing technical support work, but this looks like a better company. I've got a job, but I think there's a better future with this place." I really wasn't that far off. The company I was working for had been in receivership for much of my tenure there. During that time we weren't sure if we were going to get paid. I liked my immediate co-workers, but the owner of the company... (My mother taught me that if I can't say something nice, to not say it at all.)
I had a friend at the software company who kept telling me for two years that I should check it out. I stuck it out until this job fair and decided to see what was out there. I don't remember specifics about the interview, but remember being freaked out by the panel interview. I must have done okay because I got through the process and am still employed there 20 years later.
The next morning at work a co-worker got a phone call, which I wouldn't have paid attention to, but she was rather emphatic and left the office. I had a hunch and followed her. Sure enough she went to buy the newspaper. I didn't know about the paper until that point.
After I gave notice, the aforementioned owner of the company tried to knock me down by telling me I won't make my mark with the new company: I'd be just a number, not a person; I would be a small fish in a big pond, etc. I had a response to every one of his statements. This was a man who didn't like people standing up to him, so his parting shot was about my making up a story to leave early to get to the job fair, and he left the office.
I am grateful for my job with that first company. It was my first job out of college. I learned a lot. I don't regret taking this opportunity with the new company. I have made my mark, I have learned a lot, and my life has been changed in many ways.
I want to thank the people at both companies who gave me a shot.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
I. Am. Iron. Man.
No, no, I'm not planning on doing Ironman, or any triathlon, any time soon.
I was afraid I wasn't going to have a picture today. It was my first day back at work after a week off and I was very busy. I considered photographing my cube in its state of being packed up, maybe later in the week. I left after 6 pm, so the sunset was out of the question. On the way home I was behind a car with a GPS screen so large that I could see the map. If I had gotten the camera out in time, that would have been today's picture, along with the caption, "Guess What Someone Got for Christmas!" But I had only one red light before he turned off and I didn't think about it in time.
So I was practicing guitar tonight. This week's new music is "Iron Man". (I'm enjoying discovering my inner rock chick. Okay, not so inner!) I heard it on the radio on the way home and decided that tonight's picture would be in honor of memangling practicing the song.
That big highlighted line in the middle of the page reads, "NOT MIDDLE FINGER!" My middle finger will land on any old string, even when it's not supposed to. (Cue jokes.)
I was afraid I wasn't going to have a picture today. It was my first day back at work after a week off and I was very busy. I considered photographing my cube in its state of being packed up, maybe later in the week. I left after 6 pm, so the sunset was out of the question. On the way home I was behind a car with a GPS screen so large that I could see the map. If I had gotten the camera out in time, that would have been today's picture, along with the caption, "Guess What Someone Got for Christmas!" But I had only one red light before he turned off and I didn't think about it in time.
So I was practicing guitar tonight. This week's new music is "Iron Man". (I'm enjoying discovering my inner rock chick. Okay, not so inner!) I heard it on the radio on the way home and decided that tonight's picture would be in honor of me
That big highlighted line in the middle of the page reads, "NOT MIDDLE FINGER!" My middle finger will land on any old string, even when it's not supposed to. (Cue jokes.)
Monday, January 02, 2012
I (Re)Joined the YMCA
About a year and a half ago I was swimming quite regularly. Then summer camp started and screwed with my schedule and I stopped swimming. Camp eventually ended, but I had some medical issues to contend with and I never got back in that pool. Fast forward to this past December. I got a letter that my dues were about to increase, for the second time in the two years I had been a member! The first increase was a stretch to my budget, but I did it. The second increase was just too much and I cancelled my membership.
I used to belong to the YMCA (cue music). I left when the pool schedule was more kid-friendly than me-friendly. A friend belongs there and told me the schedule is pretty well-balanced. I checked, and sure enough, it is. So I went over today and rejoined. They tell me the pool isn't terribly busy at 5:30 in the morning or late at night (the pool closes at 9:30 pm). I don't share lanes very well, so I'm looking for the less busy times. (They told me that they have 3 or more people in a lane so infrequently that the lifeguard usually has to explain what circle swimming is when it happens.)
I'm going to try the 5:30 am thing, we'll see how it goes. I think I'll shoot for Thursday morning, but Friday may be more realistic for me. I'm looking forward to getting back in the water.
PS - You're welcome for getting the song stuck in your head. :-D
I used to belong to the YMCA (cue music). I left when the pool schedule was more kid-friendly than me-friendly. A friend belongs there and told me the schedule is pretty well-balanced. I checked, and sure enough, it is. So I went over today and rejoined. They tell me the pool isn't terribly busy at 5:30 in the morning or late at night (the pool closes at 9:30 pm). I don't share lanes very well, so I'm looking for the less busy times. (They told me that they have 3 or more people in a lane so infrequently that the lifeguard usually has to explain what circle swimming is when it happens.)
I'm going to try the 5:30 am thing, we'll see how it goes. I think I'll shoot for Thursday morning, but Friday may be more realistic for me. I'm looking forward to getting back in the water.
PS - You're welcome for getting the song stuck in your head. :-D
Sunday, January 01, 2012
This Year in Pictures - 1/1/2012
I had a crazy idea this morning that I would try to take a picture every day this year. No plans for any particular subject. Of course, at 5:44 pm this evening I had forgotten about my plan and rushed outside to see if I could get a decent nature picture in the later than dusk evening. Today's picture is Jupiter and the first quarter moon:
I'm going to start carrying my little Canon PowerShot around with me to see what kind of trouble I can get into with this. There are no rules, subjects can be anything. I anticipate lots of Pip and Mona, and sunrises and sunsets. :)
I'm going to start carrying my little Canon PowerShot around with me to see what kind of trouble I can get into with this. There are no rules, subjects can be anything. I anticipate lots of Pip and Mona, and sunrises and sunsets. :)
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Rosh Hashana Drash 5772
Here is the President's Drash I gave at Keddem Congregation, Erev Rosh Hashanah 5772, September 28, 2011.
L'Shana Tova! Welcome to Keddem Congregation's High Holy Day services for 5772. If you have been here before, it is good to see you again. If you are new to our community, welcome. I hope you all have a meaningful experience and that you will return.
Returning, it is that time of year, isn't it? Many of you have returned to once again observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur with the Keddem Community. We have just passed the autumnal equinox signaling the leaves on the trees to turn colour and return to the ground, completing the circle of life. And we are here to re-turn. To figure out what we want to do with our lives, or perhaps how to be a better person, or how to be more observant, or... what? Each of us has our own reasons. I hope you will take the time to ponder yours.
This kind of pondering is something I traditionally have not done. Growing up in an unaffiliated household, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were simply days off from school. It was always nice to have the days off, but that is all they were, days off from school.
After my Dad, z"l, died right before my senior year of high school, my family went to a community Rosh Hashanah service. I can't say I was hooked. The prayers and the tunes were foreign to me and I was completely lost. We kept returning, at least I did when I could come home from college and then when I moved back home after graduation. With every year, the melodies and prayers became more and more familiar.
But, frankly, I went to services because it is just what I did. It was more meaningful than staying home and watching tv reruns all day. But I never felt introspective, it was simply tradition. Somewhere along the line I learned about the three major themes of tefillah (prayer), tzedakah (charity), and tshuvah, which some define as repentance, but actually means return. I know what tefillah and tzedakah are, I practice those at varying levels, but the idea of tshuvah was a new one for me.
My dictionary defines repentance as "a repenting or being penitent; feeling of sorrow, etc., especially for wrongdoing; compunction; contrition; remorse." Well this isn't a particularly new, or once per year, idea. I can talk myself into feeling remorse or guilt for something pretty quickly. Why would I come here to feel guilt when I can do that daily in the comfort of my own home? There has to be something more to tshuvah. What is this process? What am I returning to?
We are told we are atoning for our sins. That we are to say sorry for the bad things we have done. To borrow from another holiday, how is this different from apologies I make on any other day when I recognize that I have hurt someone or done something wrong?
On Kol Nidre and throughout Yom Kippur we will be confessing together as a community. But I am interested in the personal element, what I must do during this time of introspection.
"We commemorate the beginning of the world by trying to make new beginnings within ourselves, by returning to the beginning of the path." (The First Jewish Catalog, page 68-69.)
There are four steps to tshuvah, which contain actions about working on one's self and even how we relate to others:
The first step is Regret - regretting our actions. Most of us know the difference between right and wrong. When we miss the mark, we should recognize it. I think many of us do so, although maybe not right away, since we might be trying to justify our actions, but eventually we know if we've made a mistake.
The second step is to stop the action. Can you feel regret for an action if you continue to do it? An action may be so ingrained, it may be a habit, that even though you recognize it, you still continue to do it. Perhaps part of this step involves really considering what it takes to stop the action.
Step three is to ask for forgiveness. As I understand it we can ask God for forgiveness for transgressions against God, but we have to ask individuals for forgiveness before God will accept our tshuvah. Let's think about this, I can recognize that I have done something wrong, regret it, and cease doing it, but then I have to ask you for forgiveness. That is opening myself up, making me vulnerable, not comfortable. And really, since I don't know against whom I've transgressed, shouldn't I really ask for forgiveness of everyone?
Also, consider the other side for just a moment. What about when you are asked for forgiveness? Will you forgive the person asking? It doesn't mean you should forget what happened.
So, consider returning to the beginning of the path unencumbered by both guilt and resentment.
The fourth and final step to tshuvah is to resolve not to do it again. That is what the Ashamnu and Al Cheit prayers are for during Yom Kippur. We are acknowledging what we have done before God and asking God to forgive us. (CHANT) V'al kulam, Eloah slichot, s'lach lanu, m'chal lanu, kapper lanu. For all our wrongs, God of forgiveness, forgive us, wipe the slate clean, grant us atonement.
How do we know that we have succeeded at tshuvah? After all, it is such a personal process. We pray together, we support each other, but in the end tshuvah is our own personal reflection.
Maimonides, also known as the Rambam, writes that the only test of a successful "return" is that one refrains from repeating the transgression when similar circumstances arise. Tshuvah, then, for the Rambam is rooted entirely in a well-defined concept of the freedom of human action..."
(Rambam references from The Second Jewish Catalog, page 253.)
Some of us may not feel like we've sinned, transgressed, or missed the mark enough to go through these steps. So, why are we here? What are we trying to accomplish as we come for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services? We are trying to make new beginnings within ourselves, so we may want to make small, incremental changes, such as:
From page one of our Machzor, "we are here at the start of the ten days of tshuvah, of turning, of returning to the self we have covered up behind the roles and masks with which we have learned to project ourselves. We are here in celebration and in search, in judgment and embrace, ready to confront ourselves and the world in which we find ourselves this night. We seek to open wide the windows behind which we have hidden, and to send forth hand and soul to learn where we have come, what we have become, and what we hope to be."
Without realizing it, I took my first step toward re-turning when I first went to services oh so many years ago.
So, consider what brought you here. It may just be what you do. But consider the opportunity to make this a new beginning for you.
L'Shana Tova Tikateivu! May you be written for a good New Year!
©2011 Hayley Green Smith
L'Shana Tova! Welcome to Keddem Congregation's High Holy Day services for 5772. If you have been here before, it is good to see you again. If you are new to our community, welcome. I hope you all have a meaningful experience and that you will return.
Returning, it is that time of year, isn't it? Many of you have returned to once again observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur with the Keddem Community. We have just passed the autumnal equinox signaling the leaves on the trees to turn colour and return to the ground, completing the circle of life. And we are here to re-turn. To figure out what we want to do with our lives, or perhaps how to be a better person, or how to be more observant, or... what? Each of us has our own reasons. I hope you will take the time to ponder yours.
This kind of pondering is something I traditionally have not done. Growing up in an unaffiliated household, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were simply days off from school. It was always nice to have the days off, but that is all they were, days off from school.
After my Dad, z"l, died right before my senior year of high school, my family went to a community Rosh Hashanah service. I can't say I was hooked. The prayers and the tunes were foreign to me and I was completely lost. We kept returning, at least I did when I could come home from college and then when I moved back home after graduation. With every year, the melodies and prayers became more and more familiar.
But, frankly, I went to services because it is just what I did. It was more meaningful than staying home and watching tv reruns all day. But I never felt introspective, it was simply tradition. Somewhere along the line I learned about the three major themes of tefillah (prayer), tzedakah (charity), and tshuvah, which some define as repentance, but actually means return. I know what tefillah and tzedakah are, I practice those at varying levels, but the idea of tshuvah was a new one for me.
My dictionary defines repentance as "a repenting or being penitent; feeling of sorrow, etc., especially for wrongdoing; compunction; contrition; remorse." Well this isn't a particularly new, or once per year, idea. I can talk myself into feeling remorse or guilt for something pretty quickly. Why would I come here to feel guilt when I can do that daily in the comfort of my own home? There has to be something more to tshuvah. What is this process? What am I returning to?
We are told we are atoning for our sins. That we are to say sorry for the bad things we have done. To borrow from another holiday, how is this different from apologies I make on any other day when I recognize that I have hurt someone or done something wrong?
On Kol Nidre and throughout Yom Kippur we will be confessing together as a community. But I am interested in the personal element, what I must do during this time of introspection.
"We commemorate the beginning of the world by trying to make new beginnings within ourselves, by returning to the beginning of the path." (The First Jewish Catalog, page 68-69.)
There are four steps to tshuvah, which contain actions about working on one's self and even how we relate to others:
The first step is Regret - regretting our actions. Most of us know the difference between right and wrong. When we miss the mark, we should recognize it. I think many of us do so, although maybe not right away, since we might be trying to justify our actions, but eventually we know if we've made a mistake.
The second step is to stop the action. Can you feel regret for an action if you continue to do it? An action may be so ingrained, it may be a habit, that even though you recognize it, you still continue to do it. Perhaps part of this step involves really considering what it takes to stop the action.
Step three is to ask for forgiveness. As I understand it we can ask God for forgiveness for transgressions against God, but we have to ask individuals for forgiveness before God will accept our tshuvah. Let's think about this, I can recognize that I have done something wrong, regret it, and cease doing it, but then I have to ask you for forgiveness. That is opening myself up, making me vulnerable, not comfortable. And really, since I don't know against whom I've transgressed, shouldn't I really ask for forgiveness of everyone?
Also, consider the other side for just a moment. What about when you are asked for forgiveness? Will you forgive the person asking? It doesn't mean you should forget what happened.
So, consider returning to the beginning of the path unencumbered by both guilt and resentment.
The fourth and final step to tshuvah is to resolve not to do it again. That is what the Ashamnu and Al Cheit prayers are for during Yom Kippur. We are acknowledging what we have done before God and asking God to forgive us. (CHANT) V'al kulam, Eloah slichot, s'lach lanu, m'chal lanu, kapper lanu. For all our wrongs, God of forgiveness, forgive us, wipe the slate clean, grant us atonement.
How do we know that we have succeeded at tshuvah? After all, it is such a personal process. We pray together, we support each other, but in the end tshuvah is our own personal reflection.
Maimonides, also known as the Rambam, writes that the only test of a successful "return" is that one refrains from repeating the transgression when similar circumstances arise. Tshuvah, then, for the Rambam is rooted entirely in a well-defined concept of the freedom of human action..."
(Rambam references from The Second Jewish Catalog, page 253.)
Some of us may not feel like we've sinned, transgressed, or missed the mark enough to go through these steps. So, why are we here? What are we trying to accomplish as we come for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services? We are trying to make new beginnings within ourselves, so we may want to make small, incremental changes, such as:
- Consider spending more quality time with family and friends. Turn off the computer and the cell phone and interact with those whom you love.
- Consider better care for your health: eating healthfully, drinking more water, and/or exercising more.
- Maybe it is better control over your finances: limiting overspending or making and sticking to a budget.
From page one of our Machzor, "we are here at the start of the ten days of tshuvah, of turning, of returning to the self we have covered up behind the roles and masks with which we have learned to project ourselves. We are here in celebration and in search, in judgment and embrace, ready to confront ourselves and the world in which we find ourselves this night. We seek to open wide the windows behind which we have hidden, and to send forth hand and soul to learn where we have come, what we have become, and what we hope to be."
Without realizing it, I took my first step toward re-turning when I first went to services oh so many years ago.
So, consider what brought you here. It may just be what you do. But consider the opportunity to make this a new beginning for you.
L'Shana Tova Tikateivu! May you be written for a good New Year!
©2011 Hayley Green Smith
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My Roles
So, the other day I was thinking about who I am and that led to thinking about the roles I play. Here's the list. I want to get it in a more permanent place than the purple post-it note sitting on my desk. So, in no particular order:
- god-mother
- mom
- aunt
- wife
- hippie
- baseball fan
- techie chick
- friend
- co-worker
- president
- daughter
- sister
Saturday, June 25, 2011
A Unique Gift for Rosh Hashanah
Send the Sweetest of all Rosh Hashanah greetings to your family, friends, and business associates.
We will ship a personalized package, including a festive 8-ounce jar of kosher clover honey, a gift card, and the blessing for the New Year, anywhere in the United States. The package will arrive in time for Rosh Hashanah, which begins Wednesday, September 28.
Ordering online is quick and easy. Your cost is $10 per jar, which includes shipping anywhere in the United States if you order before July 31, midnight Eastern time. Shipping outside of the United States is an additional fee. A portion of your purchase benefits ORT America.
Visit www.svort.org and click on the honey jar. Order by July 31st to avoid extra shipping fees.
If you have any questions, email hayley at svort.org.
Thank you for your support of the ORT program.
We will ship a personalized package, including a festive 8-ounce jar of kosher clover honey, a gift card, and the blessing for the New Year, anywhere in the United States. The package will arrive in time for Rosh Hashanah, which begins Wednesday, September 28.
Ordering online is quick and easy. Your cost is $10 per jar, which includes shipping anywhere in the United States if you order before July 31, midnight Eastern time. Shipping outside of the United States is an additional fee. A portion of your purchase benefits ORT America.
Visit www.svort.org and click on the honey jar. Order by July 31st to avoid extra shipping fees.
If you have any questions, email hayley at svort.org.
Thank you for your support of the ORT program.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
AIDS: 30 years of an epidemic
Today is the 30th anniversary of the CDC report that first identified a rare form of pneumonia that was later identified as AIDS.
We've come a long way since those early days. An HIV diagnosis is now being considered a chronic disease rather than a death sentence.
The SF Chronicle's article about what is going on in the fight against AIDS is at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/05/MNS91JP3SV.DTL.
I wrote the following blog post five years ago today, on the 25th anniversary.
I've copied it here, the original is at http://chernablog.blogspot.com/2006/06/aids-25-years-of-epidemic.html.
So, today is the 25th anniversary of the CDC report that 5 gay men were treated for a rare form of pneumonia, later to be identified as AIDS. I lived near "ground zero" of the AIDS epidemic. I grew up in San Francisco, in the Haight Ashbury, just over the hill from the Castro. We had gay neighbors, both upstairs and next door. It was no big deal to me that two men were living together in each of those flats. As long as they loved and respected each other, I didn't care what they did in their bedrooms. Heck, I don't care what ANYONE, hetero- or homosexual does in their bedrooms... it's none of my business! (On today's news, I heard a "man-on-the-street" interview at the Gay/Straight Alliance Parade in Los Altos. The man said he didn't *really* have a problem with this sort of thing, as long as they didn't rub it in his face. What the hell does that mean? Does that mean you don't want to see two men holding hands or two women hugging? Fine, then hetero couples shouldn't either. Don't rub it in his face. Sheesh!) Anyway, I digress...
DH sent an email to his family today, mainly what he said at http://mootepoint.blogspot.com/2006/06/grim-milestone.html, except with the following links:
"The SF Chronicle also has several articles online at http://www.sfgate.com/aidsat25. In case you don’t have time to look at all their extensive coverage, here are a couple of highlights:
This 1982 article by Randy Shilts (author of And the Band Played On) is a tear-jerker:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/17/DDGVB5133M1.DTL
The article contains a “more things change, the more they stay the same” line: “And when one gay victim of pneumocystis lapsed into a semi-coma, his relatives tried to strike his lover's name from the guest list and forbid him from seeing the dying man”.
This picture is worth a quick look. It’s a heartbreaker that everybody should see as a reminder:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?o=1&f=/c/a/2006/06/04/ING97J7LD31.DTL
I humbly request that everybody take a moment to remember the half million Americans who have died over the last 25 years, the lost generation inAfrica , and the continued problem throughout the world--and hope that we can solve this soon. We lit a yahrtzeit candle last night.
I took his email and forwarded it to my mom and sister with the following commentary:
"I'm forwarding D's email to you because we lived at ground zero of the start of the AIDS epidemic.
I remember the friends that disappeared. I remember the guy upstairs who just wanted to die at home when that eviction crap went on. (God help me, I forget his name.)
I was in tears reading the article and picture D. referenced. While AIDS is no longer just a "gay man's disease", I get angered by the young gay men who don't know to remember and don't take precautions because AIDS is now manageable. Why not try to eradicate it than live with it? Look at what's happened inAfrica , in poor communities, in our community.
And today, of all days, Bush is giving a speech in favor of a constitutional amendment to ban "gay marriage" and the Senate is debating this issue. Have they no compassion for those who have died? For those who continue to live with HIV/AIDS? "Gay marriage" is not unnatural to me. Again, I think of the guys upstairs and next door on Central. I don't think growing up around the "gay lifestyle" has made me a bad person or weakened my marriage. Sure, D. and I have seen our share of challenges, but frankly, "gay marriage" is not one of them!
I just want to scream at the people who don't want their kids around the "gay lifestyle", at the people who think that their marriage is threatened by "Adam and Steve" getting married. At those people who won't talk about AIDS because it's a "gay disease", a "poor disease", a disease inAfrica that doesn't affect us.
D. keeps telling me I had an unusual childhood. Maybe I'm just more enlightened than most folks, but I just don't understand, I really don't and it makes me very sad.
We've come a long way since those early days. An HIV diagnosis is now being considered a chronic disease rather than a death sentence.
The SF Chronicle's article about what is going on in the fight against AIDS is at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/05/MNS91JP3SV.DTL.
I wrote the following blog post five years ago today, on the 25th anniversary.
I've copied it here, the original is at http://chernablog.blogspot.com/2006/06/aids-25-years-of-epidemic.html.
So, today is the 25th anniversary of the CDC report that 5 gay men were treated for a rare form of pneumonia, later to be identified as AIDS. I lived near "ground zero" of the AIDS epidemic. I grew up in San Francisco, in the Haight Ashbury, just over the hill from the Castro. We had gay neighbors, both upstairs and next door. It was no big deal to me that two men were living together in each of those flats. As long as they loved and respected each other, I didn't care what they did in their bedrooms. Heck, I don't care what ANYONE, hetero- or homosexual does in their bedrooms... it's none of my business! (On today's news, I heard a "man-on-the-street" interview at the Gay/Straight Alliance Parade in Los Altos. The man said he didn't *really* have a problem with this sort of thing, as long as they didn't rub it in his face. What the hell does that mean? Does that mean you don't want to see two men holding hands or two women hugging? Fine, then hetero couples shouldn't either. Don't rub it in his face. Sheesh!) Anyway, I digress...
DH sent an email to his family today, mainly what he said at http://mootepoint.blogspot.com/2006/06/grim-milestone.html, except with the following links:
"The SF Chronicle also has several articles online at http://www.sfgate.com/aidsat25. In case you don’t have time to look at all their extensive coverage, here are a couple of highlights:
This 1982 article by Randy Shilts (author of And the Band Played On) is a tear-jerker:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/17/DDGVB5133M1.DTL
The article contains a “more things change, the more they stay the same” line: “And when one gay victim of pneumocystis lapsed into a semi-coma, his relatives tried to strike his lover's name from the guest list and forbid him from seeing the dying man”.
This picture is worth a quick look. It’s a heartbreaker that everybody should see as a reminder:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?o=1&f=/c/a/2006/06/04/ING97J7LD31.DTL
I humbly request that everybody take a moment to remember the half million Americans who have died over the last 25 years, the lost generation in
I took his email and forwarded it to my mom and sister with the following commentary:
"I'm forwarding D's email to you because we lived at ground zero of the start of the AIDS epidemic.
I remember the friends that disappeared. I remember the guy upstairs who just wanted to die at home when that eviction crap went on. (God help me, I forget his name.)
I was in tears reading the article and picture D. referenced. While AIDS is no longer just a "gay man's disease", I get angered by the young gay men who don't know to remember and don't take precautions because AIDS is now manageable. Why not try to eradicate it than live with it? Look at what's happened in
And today, of all days, Bush is giving a speech in favor of a constitutional amendment to ban "gay marriage" and the Senate is debating this issue. Have they no compassion for those who have died? For those who continue to live with HIV/AIDS? "Gay marriage" is not unnatural to me. Again, I think of the guys upstairs and next door on Central. I don't think growing up around the "gay lifestyle" has made me a bad person or weakened my marriage. Sure, D. and I have seen our share of challenges, but frankly, "gay marriage" is not one of them!
I just want to scream at the people who don't want their kids around the "gay lifestyle", at the people who think that their marriage is threatened by "Adam and Steve" getting married. At those people who won't talk about AIDS because it's a "gay disease", a "poor disease", a disease in
D. keeps telling me I had an unusual childhood. Maybe I'm just more enlightened than most folks, but I just don't understand, I really don't and it makes me very sad.
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