Hey! Where do I fit into this LGBT thing?

I'm writing this post because I read something earlier that has been bugging me all day.
In a discussion about all that has transpired this week for marriage equality, someone wrote that straight people are clueless and can't appreciate the range of emotions that their LGBT friends have gone through.  As both a Jew and a woman, I can sit here and write about how I've been discriminated against as a member of both classes, but I won't.  I still have plenty to say, however.

I grew up in San Francisco, four blocks from the corner of Haight & Ashbury.  We moved to the Haight in the mid-70s, when I was 10.  I would regularly see what I call 'leftover hippies' all over Haight Street.  They were, for the most part, harmless.  (I could write a whole post about being propositioned and accosted by these guys and how they went from mostly harmless when I was 10 to a bit scarier when I was 17, but I digress.)

Our neighbors were from all walks of life.  It was definitely a diverse neighborhood.
I remember mentioning to my mom that I thought one of the neighbors was cute.  She told me that she thought his roommate was not really his roommate, but his boyfriend.  She could have been describing a man and woman, not two men, the comment was said without judgment.  My reaction was one of great disappointment that he was in a relationship.  It didn't matter who the relationship was with.

I remember the assassinations of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk.  I remember the White Night Riots.

I remember friends and neighbors getting sick and dying from AIDS.

When I would hang with gay friends in college, I was called a 'fag hag.'  (Complimentary or not, depending on who said it.)

When San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed same-sex couples to get married in 2004, the media talked mostly about 'gay marriage.'  I hated that term then and still hate it now.  I almost always referred to 'marriage equality' then, before the phrase became a hashtag.

I know my memories are not exclusive to me.  Many of my friends have similar memories.

My point is that to me, members of the LGBT community are not labels, they're friends, humans.
And I'm very happy that these fellow human beings are able to get married in some states.  What I don't understand is why they are not allowed to get married in all states.  I don't understand the objection and probably never will.

But back to the original comment that set me off this morning.  You have a unique perspective when you've experienced something firsthand.  But that isn't to say that someone cannot be an ally if they don't have that perspective.
(Men will never experience abortion.  I get so aggravated at the men that legislate against a woman's right to choose that I forget that there are plenty of men who support that right.  I hope I would never make such a general statement that men are generally clueless when it comes to this issue.)

When the Prop H8 decision was handed down, I tweeted "So incredibly happy to see equality prevail!"
Congratulations to the couples who are now allowed to get married.  I hope there is more of this within my lifetime.